You Drive Me Crazy

"One foot on the brake, and one on the gas, hey..., well there's too much traffic, I can't pass, no..., so I tried my best, illegal move, a big black and white come and crushed my groove again..." -Sammy Hagar- (I Can't Drive 55)

"Who's gonna tell you when, it's too late?, Who's gonna tell you things, aren't so great?"
 -The Cars- (Drive)

"I can't get..., any rest..., people say..., I'm obsessed..., everything, you say is lies, but to me, there's no surprise..." -Fine Young Cannibals- (She Drives Me Crazy)



Good morning everyone.  I remember the first time that I noticed a theme... (oops..., sorry..., wrong day...).  I thought that I'd take the opportunity on this beautiful Sunday morning when I don't have to drive anywhere to tell you some traffic stories from the past week.  By the way, if you're sitting at home unhappy with the choices that your t.v. is currently offering you (as I was), I just found that the NFL Network is showing 'Training Camp Live' from 9:00 a.m. to 6:00 p.m. today (you don't even get ONE GUESS as to which channel my t.v. is currently tuned to)...

Okay, so even though I've driving SO EARLY and SO LATE in my effort to avoid traffic stacking up (successfully mostly) between San Marcos and Austin, these are some of the things that I've seen during the past week or so...

  ---  Okay, this one wasn't horrible, but I saw a vanity plate that read 'Tori 09' a few days ago, and thought that I should have one reading 'Coach 100' (the loyal readers will get this one)...

  ---  TWICE during the past week, I've seen drivers behind the wheels of cars whose passenger side mirrors were LITERALLY DANGLING FROM THEIR VEHICLES...  NOTE:  If your car appears to have a major problem (swaying mirrors would be an example of a red flag issue for me), I will give you ALL THE ROOM that you need on our highways...

  ---  I'm returning to San Marcos from Austin a few days ago, and RIGHT BEFORE THE EXIT that I'm about to take (Exit 206 - Aquarena Springs) to leave I-35, a blue BMW that was behind me decides to pass me, and then cut right back in front of me before exiting...  Okay, fine..., you're in a hurry..., whatever...  OH..., but NOOOO..., at the next three (count 'em, THREE) red lights, I have to wait for this car to move ALL THREE TIMES after the light turns to green...  ALL... THREE... TIMES...  I was in a hurry to GET TO SAN MARCOS (Coach has often written about what a great place it is), but now that I'm here, let me text..., EVERYONE ON THE PLANET!...  And yeah, I'm just throwing my hands up from behind my steering wheel the second and third time that I had to wait...

  ---  Okay, so I'm driving into Austin, still on I-35 and south of UT, where the traffic has 3 lanes to maneuver, and this genius decides to use..., ALL OF THEM...  As we're driving about 60 m.p.h. (and I'm in the far right lane, with about a mile left until the M.L.K. exit - Exit 235), this car from the far left lane CUTS ACROSS the MIDDLE LANE, and then MY LANE, and then EXITS..., all in the space of about THREE SECONDS...  AWESOME...  I think that you can find this move in your driver's manual under the heading "Horizontal Exiting..."  MORON...  Oddly enough, I can't remember why I don't like driving in rush hour (and it's NOT EVEN rush hour yet!!!)...

  ---  The following has happened SEVERAL TIMES during the past week, and undoubtedly MILLIONS OF TIMES since vehicles started operating in Austin, but in case you haven't driven in the ATX, you may not know, so...  I'm driving south to return to San Marcos, where I've just left the downtown area (that means that the slow-moving cluster of traffic has just begun to break free), but that DOES NOT MEAN that you're going to be able to reach your destination driving 75 miles per hour the rest of the way, because we have not reached Slaughter Lane (Exit 227) yet...  In case you're not familiar with Austin and Slaughter Lane, Slaughter got its name because that's where traffic goes to DIE...  Okay, I just made that up (actually, I made that up a while back, but anyway)...  I continue to remain alert and cautious while approaching Exit 227, because if you haven't seen the red brake lights starting to back up, YOU WILL...  Meanwhile, every genius on the planet, even as the SEA OF BRAKE LIGHTS becomes visible, decides that FLOORING THEIR GAS PEDAL is the best decision (because you OBVIOUSLY want to be the FIRST ONE to reach the area where the traffic is congested)...  BRILLIANT...  As people begin to tailgate me upon making this approach, I literally lean over to the side to give them a better view through my vehicle, as I'm using my arm to gesture, "CAN'T YOU SEE THAT?!!!"

  ---  Speaking of using my arm to gesture, this reminds me of something that I noticed as I returned home on Friday night.  A car that pulled right up behind me (which is the reason that I noticed this) was being driven by a driver whose hands were in the textbook "10:00 and 2:00" positions on the steering wheel - very nice...  I, ON THE OTHER HAND, was driving with my left hand (well, thumb and forefinger fully separated, controlling the WHOLE VEHICLE) at the 10:00 position, while my right hand was not ANYWHERE on the face of the "driving clock," but was instead on the "right arm rest" (which I've heard others refer to as the space to the left of the passenger seat headrest)...  :D  Okay, so you can deduct points from me for that...  ;)

If you have any Sunday driving to do today, please get there safely and I'll see you again tomorrow...