"Stop pretending your fingers are spiders when singing the "Itsy Bitsy Spider" song to kids. You're pushing them into a life of drugs..." -@gorrdano- (via twitter)
"A woman would never write the lyrics "like the ceiling can't hold us" without adding "but you totally don't look fat" into the chorus..." -@LeahBonnema- (via twitter)
"I've turned self sabotage into a slightly impressive skill set..."
-@That_Damn_Duck- (via twitter)
"Will someone turn off that damn Skrillex song? Oh, it's the dishwasher..."
-@Brentweets- (via twitter)
"I have no idea what I'm saying like 700% of the time..."
-@Nicholey23- (via twitter)
Could you make that last quote the official slogan for your blog Coach?...
Could you throw the 'Texas Music Theater' out there again for us Coach? My 'The 5th Annual Lone Star Music Awards' entry has been so well received that I'm going back to TMT this week... Okay, the real reason that I'm returning to TMT for the 2nd time in 13 days is for my friend David's graduation party. The best part about the invite that I received to this party is that I DIDN'T tag him on facebook to my last post here, which referenced the Bobcats that are about to receive their diplomas. David's invite is also the ONLY invite that I've received to a graduation party from the current crop of Bobcats - AHEM...
Could you tell us about more stuff that you haven't been invited to Coach? This segues nicely into the pool party that I wasn't invited to on Sunday. I THREATENED to write about this because everyone knows that Alyssa isn't mentioned here enough, and I only decided to really write about it after I did some investigating. Okay, first off, this wasn't TECHNICALLY a pool "party" - also, I'm one hundred years old, and don't expect invites to everything that the cool kids are doing... However, when I asked Alyssa about this gathering that was documented on facebook, she said, "ask J.J." When I asked my friend and coworker J.J., he NATURALLY SAID, "ask Alyssa..." :) The fact that there were about another half-dozen people there makes it funny that these two specifically mentioned each other... And now when my friend Chelsea (who I don't believe was present??) asks about her little group being my favorites (remember, this bunch is about to graduate and leave San Marcos, America), I'll have to say yes... :)
Could you tell us one more story about these punks Coach, please? Oh, Alyssa also didn't invite me to a crawfish boil... Anyway, last night after my Spurs came back and broke the hearts of the Golden State Warriors in double overtime, I threw on my Manu Ginobili jersey and headed to Harper's to celebrate. At this point I need to thank my friend and coworker George for offering to pick up my tab (I accepted immediately)... Thanks George! So while we're now enjoying the atmosphere up at the Veranda, Alyssa and Chelsea start talking about which ONE superpower they would pick if they got to choose. Alyssa says that 'reading minds' would be her choice, and then Chelsea says the same thing. Okay, well Chelsea actually said that if she got to pick, she would use 'that wish' for TWO choices, and would then pick 'reading minds' and 'flying'... If the rules of wishing work like that, I'm not sure why Chelsea didn't just wish for EVERY superpower, but this was their game... :) ANYWAY, I thought that 'reading minds' was an interesting choice (of all the choices), and I guess that it's just based on my poker background and some of the jobs that I've held (including my current one). I watch people SO MUCH that I would almost have to go with some other superpower because I'm "reading people" so often that sometimes I'm pretty confident that I know exactly what they're thinking... If you had one superpower, what would it be??? (In case you're wondering, because Alyssa, Chelsea, and some of the crew that I'm about to mention will be graduating so soon and then dispersing, I'm trying to jam them into as many blog entries as possible before that occurs, because as we all know, they ARE my favorites)... ;)
Could you tell me what this is? Okay, so I'm at my station last weekend when a customer needs to transfer their drink. I naturally hold forth the 12-ounce plastic cup, at which point I'm asked, "what's this?" If you've been reading the blog for any length of time now, and know how honest I am, and can imagine one of those nights when I've dealt with some nonsense, then you already know what I said when I looked him straight in the eye and nonchalantly answered..., "A CUP..." (Yeah, I said it...) ;)
Could you tell me who does your hair? I think that this conversation actually took place right after that girl told me to "slow my roll" last weekend... I walk up on my manager and a customer who are engaged in a conversation as we're clearing out the bar. The customer tells my manager that the girl who does her hair has a husband that is going to be opening a new restaurant... My manager and I both start laughing because he is going to be opening a new restaurant and he has a wife who happens to be the person who does this customer's hair... :)
Could you tell us about sweatshirts? This is another story that I was going to write, chose not to, but then this customer came back to the bar on Sunday and brought it up... :) A few weeks ago, Jennifer came by my post approaching the Veranda wearing a sweatshirt (at this time, I did not know Jennifer). Now this was a WARM evening, and I commented that I was surprised that she was wearing the sweatshirt. Off she went, and when she came back down to my post much later in the evening, Jennifer was STILL wearing the sweatshirt. I said something like, "I can't believe that you're still wearing that..." Jennifer replied, "that hurts my feelings..." It was only after she returned to the bar on Sunday and brought up the fact that I was MEAN TO HER that I realized that Jennifer thought that I was commenting on her STYLE, and NOT THE FACT that I thought that she must have been baking in the sweatshirt... First of all, I don't have the right to comment on ANYONE'S style based on what I'm usually wearing... Secondly, maybe that 'reading minds' thing isn't such a bad idea after all... :)
Could you tell us about that ONE TIME that a Chi-O was sweet to you? "You're a refreshing face when we turn the corner..." -Gabby Contreras- (And that's how you get into the blog Gabby..., and thanks)... ;)
Could you end this with a story about ladybugs? My friend Courtney recently posted on facebook about how her daughter had opened a bag of 5,000 ladybugs in her living room (evidently you can purchase ladybugs by the bag in large quantities, although I don't know why people do so, other than the fact that they have very persuasive young daughters). Anyway, this got me thinking, WHO is counting these ladybugs in the bags? 2,568..., 2,569..., 2,500 and SEVENTY!!! UGGGHHH!!!
I want to wish a Very Happy Birthday to Castelluccio (of Castelluccio & Verissimo - you remember)... :) For the rest of you, have a great day and I'll see you again either tomorrow or on Friday (graduation week, ya know)... ;)